Integrative / Intuitive Health and Empowerment Coaching
'Mamaita's Journey uses the gifts of a clinical academic and intuitive to empower seekers to discover that 'missing something' they need to make their life MORE!
Catch your thoughts....
April 19, 2014
My Reason for being...
May 1, 2013
'Guilty of Libel...?'
June 3, 2014
Victoria's Secret and 'Two Do's'...
May 8, 2014
My reason for establishing the women’s circle-like group, 'Bat’s in the Belfry', was to give women of all ages, culture, belief, an opportunity to take two hours out of their lives for themselves, once a month and learn how to achieve life balance, self-love and benefit from the support that is, other like minded women. Too many of us get caught up in every day life and responsibility and unintentionally, become isolated and even lonely. I am glad to say that the group has met 3 times now and we have been featured in our local newspaper! Not a bad start and I think, it’s time I share some of our discussions and secrets thus far…
Since our first meeting, which was cosy, to say the least, the group has slowly but surely gathered some momentum. Each of our meetings has had new faces to welcome and each one has brought something new to share with us all. At that first meeting there were only 3 of us in attendance, but boy! Did we put the world to rights! We discussed everything from hormones, (of course), motivation, diet, exercise, parenting challenges... But underlying everything we discussed, it was our continual efforts to achieve balance that presented our real challenges.
Our second meeting brought a few more new faces and we welcomed our first guest speaker, Jackie Appleby: Mom, Wife, Entrepreneur, Esthetician at her home based beauty boutique and salon 'Primp and Polish'
I met Jackie some months ago via a Mom-Entrepeneur group and following a long coffee date, I knew this lady had that ‘balance’ I strived and I wanted her in my life. She inspired me on so many different levels, but more than anything, she shares my passion to ‘empower women’. Although her skills and expertise are so very different to my own, I found myself, as I have on many a recent occasion, opening my eyes to see beyond the clinical hospital world that has been mine for almost 30 years. I listened to the ways in which she was helping women to feel more confident, be happier in their skin, discover the benefits of relaxation and how she gives them ‘permission’ to have ‘me time’.
Too often, we place ourselves at the bottom of our over-filled, multi-tasking day and forget to listen to our own needs. Jackie’s philosophy is refreshing and uncomplicated and the stories she shares are though humorous, deliver a very clear and real message. Even I realized just how much I needed to visit her salon! And I will… but I’ll talk about that another day. So, I asked her if she would be willing to come along to talk to our ‘Bat’s’ group and to my delight, she agreed.
Jackie shared her humour and some very sound advice and tips which I have determined to follow and really should share with you!
As with all of us who’s passion it is to empower others, it is our own 'hard lessons learned' that motivate us to make a difference. Jackie shared with us some of her lowest points in her life. She has had to turn her life around and emerge from postnatal depression and learned to live with and, to a greater extent, control, Fibromyalgia. These are two subjects very important to me and which I will address in future posts as my Integrative Health Coach Practice evolves. Jackie's attitude to both is refreshing and inspiring and will certainly help me with my own approach to assisting individuals to move on from both. Looking at that now confident and successful business woman who sat before us, it is hard to believe she had ever been any different.
Whenever I attend any networking or social meetings, I like to 'take home' key points for me to revisit and pass along. One of my biggest ‘take homes’ from Jackie's talk was this ‘Take the time to find out what you like to do... and find the time to do it’.
This is such a simple, yet a really powerful, piece of advice. I recently applied the question in my coaching practice. My client had absolutely no idea and really struggled to come up with an answer. We agreed to both think about it, and on our next visit, he had given it careful consideration had succeeded in identifying a couple of things that they had always wanted to do, but not had the confidence or the know how, to make it happen. We worked through this together and both realized how this exercise alone can help address issues of low self esteem and confidence. Another example of putting this advice into practice: my son and I have developed a modern take on a ‘bucket list’ that we review every now and again. But rather than write a list, we each write on a piece of paper a ‘thing’ we want to do or a ‘goal' we want to achieve. They are then each folded up with our names on them and put into a wooden box where they are kept safe until we decide to review them on a 'rainy day'. This way we each know what the other is striving toward and we help each other to achieve it. And it feels SO good when we read through them at a later date and see what we have achieved!
Those of us listening to Jackie considered this question and came up with some very simple things we wished we could find time for. Mine was to have a manicure! Yes, seriously. Here, in the land of nail salons at every street corner, and I have never had a manicure… Another’s was to read a book while taking a relaxing bath. Another, to follow through with a coaching appointment. Another, to read the book ‘Falling Leaves’ by Adeline Yen Mah… We all had purpose!
Another discussion point was the ‘To Do List’. Yes, most of us had one, and each of us complained about how it gets longer, and longer, and how defeated we start to feel when it doesn’t seem to be getting any shorter despite our best efforts. Those of us with the OCD affliction explained how we can make lists, of lists... Once again, Jackie’s take on the ‘To Do List’ is so simple and refreshing. Instead of a 'To Do List, have a ‘TWO Do List’. Such an easy and effective way to tackle the list that daunts! And it works! I have applied this principle, choosing 2 items on my list to achieve in a day! Fab!
Another idea was to start a blog, blogging what you have done for yourself today! For me, this is something I have done for quite a while now. I think it was actually my counsellor who suggested this exercise. Just jot down in a notebook the things you have done for yourself each day and how it has made you feel. These soon became my 'Happiness Triggers', because they often made me feel happy! The journey to self-discovery and learning how to self-love is something we should all do. But we neglect to. It really is not a selfish thing to do! It benefits everybody around you!
I have to draw to a close with Jackie’s ‘Underwear Tale’. She tells the story about being down in the States with a girlfriend on a shopping spree. They were in a lingerie store and Jackie noticed her friend selecting odd bra’s and panties… She asked her why she was not choosing matching sets? Her friend replied it didn’t matter, nobody saw them, to which Jackie exclaimed ‘But YOU do!’ Her friend was a little confused, so Jackie explained… you should be choosing them for YOU. You should see yourself looking good in a matching set! Her friend took the advice, and selected some matching sets. A few weeks later her friend confided that she had been wearing her new sets, and even though nobody else knew, she did and she felt GOOD! We all agreed that this was a great tale to tell and that we should ALL be doing something for OURSELVES. Be it a manicure, new pair of shoes, a new book, visit to the gym….whatever. We should do it to please ourselves and not do it for somebody else or dare to even think we were not worth the effort! WE ARE WORTH IT!
So there you go ladies. This is why I have now discovered Victoria’s Secret … Thank you Jackie! Oh…and that manicure? I go tomorrow!!!