Integrative / Intuitive Health and Empowerment Coaching
'Mamaita's Journey uses the gifts of a clinical academic and intuitive to empower seekers to discover that 'missing something' they need to make their life MORE!
Catch your thoughts....
April 19, 2014
My Reason for being...
May 1, 2013
'Guilty of Libel...?'
June 3, 2014
February 22, 2014
Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Months became years. I became successful in my career and distanced myself sporadically from my family relationships, experiencing intermittent freedom.
It became evident during this time that when we were on bad terms, they and the Golden Child were on good. When we were on good, they and the Golden Child were on... It wasn't until years later that we would realize that we were being played off, one against the other. Now it is obvious to me , but back then, we were oblivious.
I came to a decision. It was time my hard work repaid me with that 'ticket'. My nursing and Midwifery career had promised to take me anywhere in the world. I looked at my options. Australia, New Zealand, United States, Canada. I determined Canada should be my destination. I looked at each province and chose Alberta. I travelled to London for my interviews, worked hard to gain the additional skills and was eventually offered a position as a 'rookie midwife' in Wetaskiwin, Alberta.
I was so excited and relieved to finally be escaping and starting afresh. I had my 'green card' and the flights were booked.
This would also be the time I met a really cute guy. Tall, black hair and startlingly blue eyes. Gentle. Kind. And smitten... with me!
We went out a couple of times and he was very sweet. But, I kept him at arms length... literally! I was going to Canada in two months time! No way was anything going to stop me. He said he would follow me... yeah... right!
But fate intervened.
One month before I was due to leave for Canada, the Alberta Government announced huge job cuts in health services throughout the province. International Recruitment was halted. My job was no longer and my dreams shattered.
I have always been a believer in fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it. Things happen for reasons and I trusted my instincts. Why had this sweet, gentle, sincere soul been presented to me? I told him from the beginning about my past. His response? The past made no difference to our future. He loved me and that was that. Simple. Uncomplicated.
We met in the January and were married November that same year. Our son arrived some 8 years later and our marriage was strong. Well, I was strong. Strong enough for us both. I led, he followed. His eternal pessimism was balanced by my eternal optimism. His initial career and mine brought us opportunities and a comfortable existence. We holidayed in Spain with my family most years and fell in love with that magnificent country. Her culture, her people, her gastronome, her language, her history... Spain... she will always be a part of my soul.
Relationships continued to ebb and flow. I, which became we, were constantly criticized. They were perfect. They were always right... We were accepting. Imperfect. Always wrong... My husband has such low self esteem anyway, this only served to make it worse. He didn't feel 'good enough' and was made to feel that way too. I turned a blind eye...
They were never 'there' for us. We, yes, my husband as well, accepted our role of subservience and never asked for anything. If we dared to, we would end up at fault, a burden, an inconvenience. It simply was not worth it. But we had to be 'there' for them.
They would 'have a go' at my husband behind his back. Praised me for carrying his weight. They criticized the Golden Child behind her back. Her marriage. Her children. But they praised me and my son. I was blind. Always wanting to please. Adoring the limelight. Not a very nice person at all! But I remained the unknowing victim. Nothing had changed. Three decades of emotional and psychological abuse became four...