Integrative / Intuitive Health and Empowerment Coaching
'Mamaita's Journey uses the gifts of a clinical academic and intuitive to empower seekers to discover that 'missing something' they need to make their life MORE!
Catch your thoughts....
April 19, 2014
My Reason for being...
May 1, 2013
'Guilty of Libel...?'
June 3, 2014
January 14, 2014
It was a New Year... time to reflect... and time to move on.
We had had a good Christmas and our son was happy with all the excitement of the Christmas Season. But it became evident to me that neither I, or my husband, were happy. Not actually happy . We were 'existing', not 'living'. Treading on egg shells. Keeping up appearances.
For a long time I had been pondering 'Happiness'. What was it? Was I 'happy'? Was anybody really 'happy'? How do yo become 'happy'? Was it 'selfish' to ask to be happy or worse, make a determined effort to be 'happy'? That one stayed with me the longest... 'Selfish'. My mother had always said I was 'selfish'... of course, I had believed her, but now I questioned that too.
I had long become a familiar face in the local Chapters book store. To be found in the 'Self Help' and 'Well-Being' aisles.... I had also become a book worm! My bedside tables were full of titles to be read... I had always loved reading, but when I met my husband, who had dyslexia and had never managed to read a book, I stopped. Because it made him feel 'inferior'...
Anyway...I digress! On one of these visits, I picked up a copy of Gretchen Rubin's 'The Happiness Project'. I read it cover to cover. It made so much sense! I also realized what a HUGE subject 'Happiness' actually was. And I came to the life changing decision that I wanted my son to grow up knowing his mother to be 'happy'! I wanted him to know the real me! And I wanted my husband to be happy. For him and for my son.
It was supposed to be a 'date night' and we were amicably chit-chatting as we so often did and I suddenly felt the need to be honest with him. I told him that we had done everything and had to accept that our marriage was over and instead, work on our relationship as a separated couple for the sake of our son. I don't know what reaction I expected... he was actually driving at the time, so I must have instinctively known that it would not be too traumatic? It was as if a visible weight lifted from my husband's shoulders. He told me he was sad but relieved and agreed that if we were to stay together as husband and wife, we would lose the most important part of our relationship. Friendship. And would lose our most important role. Parenting.
The rest of our date was spent agreeing a plan... We would tell our son but stay under one roof to support him and assure him that we still loved him and were working together for him as parents. We stayed together for 3 months... both of us in a strange 'no man's land' of our marriage. What had once been intimate and comfortable became a need for privacy and space. But we did it. And I m very proud that we did. By the time my husband moved out, our son had adjusted to the idea and was secure that his parents would always put him first and foremost. They just would not live together any more.
I had let him go... I was letting go of the past and looking to the future... we all were.